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The Rand Boys - Dom Porridge lyrics

Joe: Porritt got his bollucks whacked in Pe

He was holding them all the way through Dt

Porritt has no mates and is a cunt

That is why he is called a runt

Porridge never comes out to play

Porritt stays at home, scared to look away

Porridge is always getting older

And soon his hair will get much, much balder



Rob: We have always hated Tom and called him a bitch

Everytime he walks on to the pitch, He will ripped apart by Marcus Coombs

He wears size 4 shoes like a runt

And will always lose in Wembo like a big cunt



Watto: Tom Porritt

Wealdstone raider: You've got no fans, You've got no fans



Randy: Porritt, the runt, won't last the whole winter

I liked Hamish's mum, so i shagged her

All Tom wants to do is play some Football

Even tho he can do fuck all

When he's angry, fellow runts he will summon

He knows he will never have sex with a women

However Dom dosen't care anyway

For the rest of his life he wants to be gay



Tom: There is a group in Doveridge called The Runts

They are cunts

They sit there all day waiting to be helped

But no, that's the lift a runt

A little Cunt



Alan Partridge: Oh well this is great banter, it really is



Matty: He comes on the pitch

Asking for assistance

Contributing nothing

And offering runty little resistance

Communicating in grunts

And high pitch squeals

That make you want to puke up your meals

He is about 3 foot 5 tall

And is weak and loses every brawl

Toms a runt and although he won't admit it

Porridge really is a little shit



Ben: A runt like Porritt has no friends

And will continue to until his life ends

A runt will get beaten up everyday

And isn't worth any of my first aid

Porridge is always scared and will always hide

Don't expect him to put up a fight



George: The puney runts are ropey

And act hard, like a stokie

The runty ropey breeders

Scurry off to the artroom

Getting runted off the ball

By the bigguns, that are far more tall



Howard: I know a runt

Who acts like a cunt

His name is Tom Porritt

And he's the size of a Hobbitt

And there he is the little fucker

Sitting down and eating pucka.. pies

With the intention and contention

To be bigger and stronger and higher

Not smaller

As a birthday treat his mrs let him stick it up who counthole

It did not work so tried to put it in the mouthhole

She cried a blead but Porritt laughed

And said no more, i'll slap a whore

And go home with the back door behind my ass hole



Phillipa: What do you want in your sandwiches

Rob Bradley: Porrrrrrrrriiiiiittttttttttttttt



Phillipa: Porritt joined us for a 3 hour sandwich



Phillipa: Daddy Porritt hurt me

Rob Bradley: Porrrrriiiiittttttt i said poooooorrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiitttttt



O.T Genesis: I'm in love with the..

Reado: Runt





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The Rand Boys - Dom Porridge lyrics